The modern concept of emotional intelligence is controversial, but blunt behavioral models don't actually reflect our experience at work. People are still people, even when they are working. Basically, being aware of yourself and of others in the workplace is an ability that most managers need; and self awareness is the first essential building block of emotional intelligence. Self awareness , and in particular an awareness of one's emotional state, is linked to long term success in a variety of areas, including business. Ideas of self awareness among senior leaders are becoming more firmly embedded;competencies such as communication, development focus and even humility are starting to emerge as key attributes. Once you are aware of your own and others' emotional states, and realize that beneath the veneer of rationality all sorts of emotions , motivations, thoughts , beliefs, and values are shaping behavior , you are ready to move on to emotional management. But managing one's emotions is not the same as suppressing them.
In most organizations, it is particularly important to be aware of the needs of customers. Organizations have customers, and we expend "emotional labor" in serving their needs. This is a prime example of not just managing emotions in the everyday course of one's work. This may, of course, have a cost and be difficult emotional labor. However, keeping emotions suppressed is generally bad for us (as in the classic studies of the "Type A personality" that associate increased risk of heart attack with keeping angry feelings bottled up). On the other hand if you feel as though you are using your emotions positively-for instance , helping your customers solve problems; making the lives of your co-workers easier; helping the organization to hit its quarterly targets comfortably; earning a bonus for your team-and are enjoying your work , then actively utilizing your emotions in the work context become a positive experience.
Managing emotions is easy when the job is routine or "scripted"; where both sides of an encounter know how to behave; and when there is little pressure or stress present. But how might one cope if things aren't going so well? There are organizational level issues here; a supportive environment can help in difficult circumstances. However, on an individual level , resilience becomes important. Resilience means that even though there has been force or pressure applied, and some stress , there is a bouncing back , a rebound. Resilient individuals tend to have a positive outlook on life in general .They have a history where they have overcome past problems and difficulties; they have a sense of self efficacy and a belief in being able to succeed .They tend not to view setbacks as catastrophes; a setback is simply a bump on the road.
Everyone is subject to stress; resilient individuals seem to be able to cope better; they will have overcome past adversity and tend not to find life threatening. Crucially they add their own meaning and understanding to what has happened and believe that they are able to influence and control their destiny , rather than being subject to external forces over which they have little control.
So far so theoretical; what are the practical implications of all this? How can we manage our emotions and even increase our resilience?
In this context it is helpful to know that, physiologically, it's actually impossible to feel the same emotion forever;habituation steps in and intensity necessarily varies. Additionally, there are cognitive behavioral strategies. These use realistic self talk. for example: "That wasn't the best deal I've done but it wasn't the worst; at least it keeps cash flow and liquidity high". Or realizing when they're " awfulizing" or creating unrealistic expectations-and then challenging such thoughts. The physiological evidence is also clear on the benefits of good sleep, nutrition and exercise; attending to these in time of difficulty is important.
We can adopt deliberate strategies , even when it may feel as though there is little we can do. As we have seen , resilient people tend to have a realistic confidence and belief in their ability , based on past success. They act rather than remain passive and have internal and external resources. They will stay in touch with reality, and are able to problem solve and are self aware; externally they utilize social support through people that they trust and to whom they can talk -resilient people are rarely long-suffering. This may also be the time when they call in favors, or perhaps draw on some of the credit they have gained in their organization or networks. By contributing in good times, for instance by being a good organizational citizen, they are on credit and so have something to call on. Even during times of stress they seek balance in their lives, do things they enjoy and seek equilibrium.
Most people will survive problematic circumstances.However, There are degrees of coping , some people cope better because they have better strategies for coping with difficulties. Other people , sometimes with a history of depression, or physical illness, may find things harder and need more support.This is another aspect of emotional intelligence-perceiving others' emotional states and responding appropriately to them.
People and emotions are simply part of social and organizational reality ; managing those emotions and becoming resilient in difficult times is a skill that can be learned. Human beings are uniquely skilled at learning and learning about one's own and other emotions in organizations is part of what we are uniquely good at. So suspend rationality for a second and engage with the emotional world of people and organizations.
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